


Under the Willow Tree

by Dark_emo_oreos



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, References to Depression, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-03-27 03:42:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13872384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_emo_oreos/pseuds/Dark_emo_oreos
Summary: She'd always thought he was hot and mysterious. But she'd never thought that he'd ever want her.She was mistaken.~Mike x Nanaba fic~





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Aviator_Cookie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Aviator_Cookie/gifts).



> After quite a break from writing I think I am ready to write this again and finish it this time. One chapter a week at the least. Hope you all enjoy. I like kudos and appreciation comments :)

~Nanaba POV~

 

_I was running from home in the dead of night with nothing but a two shirts, underwear and a pair of trousers. It was the last time I be in the same house as that vile man. I hear shouts behind me and I know it's him and his jackass friends. They're chasing after me and my bare feet run faster in the dry dust and dirt. Thank god I ran in the night, this ground would be scorching hot in the day. It's still pleasantly warm now. I'm in the middle of nowhere and I know I should have chosen a more mainstream route as I hear the heavy footsteps of drunk men come ever closer behind me. I scream as I run, but it only gives them satisfaction as I can hear them laugh like a pack of wild hyenas. I'd rather be chased by the hyenas. I feel a hand grip my arm and pull me harshly back. I scream louder than the roar of a lion as I hit the mans chest and..._

 

I jerk awake and I can feel a stinging sensation in my arm as if the dream was real. As if they truly had caught me. I told myself it was just paranoia but my heart was still beating about twice as fast as that of a normal persons. My squad in the four bed dorm we stayed in were moving around already and I just dragged my body from my warm bunk and pulled on my blue shirt. It is much colder here than it was back home. It's supposed to be spring but it feels like winter. I reluctantly pull my gear onto my tired body and go to grab breakfast. I don't like eating breakfast but I never know when I'm next going to eat. Plus my squad peer pressures me to eat. Squad Leader Mike and Squad Leader Hanji both say I'm very underweight for someone the age of 16. I don't want to get on their bad sides. Especially not Mike.

 

As I eat I observe how much of a mystery he is. Very quiet mostly. Like me. But attractive. He's a huge hunk of a man, at least 6ft2" with that dirty blond hair covering his eyes that in the four months I've been here have never actually gotten a good look at. He has a big nose, but then again he has a big face and a big body. He can sniff out titans and pretty much anything. At the current moment he has his sleeves rolled up just past his elbows. How can he not be cold? I guess he's used to the heat. His forearms are quite tanned like the rest of what I can see. He looks older than he is, he's 16 like me. Older by a few months. I think. He was sat opposite me and I was trying to make it not completely obvious that I was staring at him. It's not like I was attracted to him or anything. I don't even know him properly. He could be a complete and utter asshole. He looked up as I was looking and I looked down awkwardly. Before he could say anything, the rest of the squad sat down at the table with us.

 

"Well isn't this the most awkward thing I've ever seen in my entire life?" Teased Gelgar, ruffling my hair as if I were a puppy. I swear he is gay. He calls everyone 'honey' and 'darling' in thick accents. That's why he's my favorite. 

 

"It is. And it's almost cute." Henning said to him. I swear they're gay together. I'd ship it. "And Nanaba you look like a bag of dicks. Didn't sleep too well last night?" He asked me.

 

"Oh no I slept well. I didn't wake up too well this morning." I replied.

 

"Same girl." Gelgar offered me a high five and I slapped his hand as hard as I could. I'm a bitch. I like it. At least I'm an honest bitch.

 

We all ate in silence for the rest. It was too early for me to successfully communicate with any living creature this early in the morning. And then we have training. In the cold. Fuck. At least at home I got a lay in. I swear I could fall asleep on this table if I trusted Gelgar and Henning not to stick pencils in my ear or some shit. I long for going back to sleep. In my warm bunk and hearing the boys giggling like teenage girls at a sleepover. Sharing a room with those two calls for sleeping with one eye open. They're like my big brothers.

 

I shivered the second we got outside. How the fuck this is considered spring baffles me. We start doing drills with the gear, just practicing flying about and avoiding trees and rocks and stuff. At least it's getting me warm. As I swing from the branch of an oak tree I collide with another branch, knocking the wind from my lungs. My gear latches off from the other tree and I fall down, too oxygen deprived and shocked to do anything to break my fall. I land on the gravel below and I'm somehow still conscious. There is a hot sensation of blood on my arms, head, back and in my mouth. I spit and blood splatters back down onto my face. I cannot seem to catch my breath properly and some kind of shock has taken control of me. There is no pain, only numbness. It no longer seems cold, nor does it seem hot. However I soon feel a burning sensation in my lungs that I can only describe as the fires from the depths of hell. There is an invisible hand over my mouth stopping me from screaming. It may be my pride, my ego, my determination to stay strong through everything. I can feel my brows crinkle in pain as i writhe on the sharp stones in agony. Now I can feel the heat. As scorching as the sun back home. I swear it is slowly killing me. I see dark silhouettes or people as I slowly slip out of consciousness. It is daunting.

 

Before my eyes even open I can hear voices. The first I hear is that of Hanji. She must be looking after me. Makes enough sense. After all she is a scientist and she probably deals with this a lot. Then I hear the deep voice of Mike. What is he doing here? Well I guess I am kind of his responsibility because I'm in his squad and all. I still feel burning sensations throughout my body, but not as potent as they had been before. No more blood dripping all over my body. That's a bonus I guess. I feel my eyes peeling open slowly, unwillingly and the scene around me comes to view. I'm laying on my bunk and Hanji and Mike are looking down upon me. They stop talking as soon as they see that I am awake. Hanji sits on the floor beside my bed.

 

"How are you feeling there?" She asked way too happily. If it was early in the morning as I suspected it to be it amazed me as to how she could be happy. But then again, she was a little crazy.

 

"Fine. Feel like my insides are on fire. But I'm fine." I said casually as if it is not a big deal. As if the heartburn kind of feeling that I'm feeling inside is just a tiny pinprick. Hanji chuckled lightly.

 

"You've got one tough cookie here, Mike. You're lucky. Anyone else probably would have died by now."

 

 _'Shame I'm not anyone else then'_ I thought. To be honest, the reason I had joined the Survey Corps was because I didn't care if I died and that I had no family that would care if I died either. But then again, dying the way I could have just then is like the Survey Corps equivalent of dying sat on the crapper. 

 

"Okay, so Mike is going to have to look after you for a bit. I would but I get injured people every waking hour. And Mike is qualified enough to take care of you" Hanji said. I looked up at Mike and saw his eyes properly for the first time. They were bright blue and shining. They were almost surreal. But by God they were gorgeous eyes. Just like the rest of him if I'm being honest. 

 

"Okay." I said. I had a lot more to say than that but I don't want to scare him off. Like how hot he is. But I shut up. It's one of my main rules. 

 

"I'm going to leave you two, to like, bond and stuff." Hanji said happily and walked perkily out of the room. I look at Mike and he looks at me. It's kinda really fucking awkward because I'm laying there absolutely useless and we are just staring at each other the way the first two humans did when they discovered how sex works. A kind of 'what the fuck now' look. He speaks up.

 

"Do you need anything?" He asks quietly, almost as if he was shy. Surely he can't be. He looks to macho to be like one of those shy schoolboys. Like the ones from home.

 

"Painkillers. Death. Ya know, something to take me out of my misery."

 

That earned me a tiny smile. Maybe this won't be completely awful. 


	2. Chapter 2

~Mike POV~

She is the first person to have made me smile for months. I doubt she was even trying. What can I say? I like dark humor. 

Even in sickness she is breathtakingly gorgeous. I can't help but admit it. Her slightly wavy light blond locks cleanly shaven at the back, gradually getting longer until they get to the beginning of her hairline where they are about three inches long and brushing her long eyelashes. She was very boyish and I liked that in girls. I wasn't keen on girls who wear dresses every day and are scared to scrape a knee or break a nail. Even the Survey Corps have some of that type of girl surprisingly. If I was not her superior she would be exactly my type. 

Nanaba continues. "Joking. A glass of water would be nice though if that is alright?"

I nod, all words taken from me as I was going to deliver a simple yes. I swear I am as dim as a candle whose flame is about to go out. I stand and take a glass from her desk and go to the adjoining bathroom to fill it with water. When I brought it back to her I noticed her eyes. The purest blue I had ever seen. My eyes were a dull blue. A tired blue. But her eyes were electric. And whenever I looked into those eyes I was electrocuted.

I pass her the water, and she smiles as a thank you. Nanaba had dimples. The sweetest, deepest dimples I'd ever seen. Honestly, she was cute. I'm allowed to think that. I'm just not allowed to say it. Or express it with actions. Erwin would whoop my sorry ass. So would Hanji most likely. She's taken quite a liking to Nanaba. 

"How long have I been unconscious?" She asked, having finished the glass of water. I think back for a second.

"About a day." I answered. "As Hanji said, you were very lucky."

She doesn't say much to that. She just nods. There is no smile this time. It's quite a shame, as her smile is sweeter than sugar. I have a sweet tooth. 

"So what exactly is wrong with me?" Nanaba asked, having seemingly perked up. What Hanji had said to me had gone in one ear and out of the other. 

"I don't really know. All of the stuff Hanji said kind of went over my head." I say. "I don't really understand science."

She shrugs. "I doubt many people understand what Hanji is on about half the time."

"Agreed." I reply with a chuckle. Fuck my laugh is creepy. It's why I never laugh. Nanaba just smiles back at me and I hope it's not an 'I'm feeling extremely awkward' smile. After all, I have to look after her for a while and the last thing we both want is it being awkward and creepy. I make people feel awkward a lot with how tall I am. If I grow any more I'll get scared when I look down. 

"How long do I get to stay in bed?" She asks me hopefully. 

"Three weeks depending on how fast or slow you recover. Around that time." I say. Nanaba looks disappointed. 

"Only three weeks? That doesn't make up for the sleep I've lost from getting up early." She whines. I chuckle.

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

She snorts. "Yeah. Sucks a whole bunch of dicks."

I full on laugh at that and she laughs along too. When we calm down she continues.

"Honestly though. It's fucking bullshit. Someone has to do our jobs though. They won't do themselves." Nanaba sighs. I nod.

"Yeah. The arrogant twats out there don't understand how shit it is for us just trying to help their sorry asses when the titans decide to eat them alive." I say. They really piss me off. 

"I agree. They don't appreciate us enough. All they care about is their money." She says. "Selfish bastards."

Nanaba was hilarious beyond words. I hadn't laughed for ages yet she managed to get it out of me. I loved her sense of humor. A whole lot of swearing and insults. It's funny to hear that kind of humor when so many other people frown upon it. I don't know what it is. 

To my dismay, Hanji came back and relieved me of my duty of looking after her. Shame. Well, I guess there is always tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i procastinated


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see ;)   
> Tbh I find it so hard to write decent long chapters that keep people engaged. Hope this is decent ish

~Nanaba POV~

_I was running through the roaring fields of the East, the long grass whipping at my bare legs as I did so. The sun was setting slowly over the walls in the far distance and soon the hills and grass would be shrouded in the darkness of the walls. Just like the people living inside it. Sounds of footsteps sprinting behind me distracted me from my fantasy. I looked back, but there was no one there..._

I put her pencil down, half giving up on the idea of trying to write to keep myself occupied in the lonliness of recovery. While I had nothing better to do, I was still bored out of my mind trying to imagine different people with unique personalities. As if my brain was too tired to be stimulated, despite all of my time in bed. I was far too distracted by the dusk outside the window beside my bed. 

‘At least I have a view.’ I thought. 

The doorknob of the heavy oak door of the room turned to the left as Mike entered slowly, as if there were danger present in the room. 

“And speaking of a view...” I whispered to myself as Mike shut the door as quietly as a door that heavy could be shut. 

“Sorry?” He asked, having not heard her previous comment, to my relief. 

“Nothing, sir. But may I ask what this is in reference to?” I hate talking like I am some kind of posh girl, but it was the only way I wouldn’t sound too rude by asking  

“Thought you should have some human contact. So you don’t go insane in here.” He said almost jokingly, his lips spreading up in  the beginnings of a smile. “There’s no need to be so formal, Nanaba. At the moment you are not a comerade of mine.”

I winced. It made me remember why I’m here in there in the first place. It made me feel guilty. 

“So have I been replaced yet?” I asked in a sharp tone. Mike’s smile dropped. “Of course not. Why would you ask?” 

“I made a mistake.” I stated blatantly. 

Mike’s smile returns to his face. “We all make mistakes. I’ve made some awful mistakes.”

”Like?” I ask him. His smile widens. 

“That’s a long list, Nanaba.” He said. “Regardless, you are the best soldier on my team. One mistake does not mean that all of your success means nothing.”

I looked on at him in awe, not knowing what to say in reply. 

“How are you feeling anyway?” He asked, pulling a chair beside my bed and sitting down;his posture remaining pristine. 

“Decent. I’m always bored. I have no company but I’m used to that.” I said simply. Mike tilted his head like a confused puppy but said nothing. 

“I’ll try and get something that’ll keep you occupied. Some books perhaps. You’ve been writing?” He asked, although it was not a question as he could see the paper in my hand. 

“Yes. I’m not having much success with anything.” I replied, sadly  

“Levi writes.” Mike said. “Y’know, Lance Corporal who is only five foot two Levi.” 

I smiled. If I enjoyed anything, it was hearing people make fun of the Lance Corporal’s height. 

“How tall are you, Squad Leader Zacharius?” I asked, having always pondered his height. He was a giant of a man. 

“Six foot and five inches. Although when I stand beside Levi I do feel a bit taller. You’re quite tall for...” He stopped midsentence. 

“A woman?” I asked. Mike shook his head no. 

“Your figure. Was what I was going to say.” Mike said. I completely understood what he meant. I did have an odd figure. Almost too broad to be that of a woman, but too angular to be that of a man. 

“I was always bullied because of that.” I said quietly. “They always said that I wasn’t a boy or a girl and that I was a freak.” 

Mike turned to look at me fully, sympathy obvious on his face. “I’m sorry, comrade.” He said, all of the formalities rushing back as if they had never really gone. 

“It’s alright.” I said kindly, smiling at him.

Darkness had settled into the room as the last of the sun had gone behind the walls. It was silent for the next few minutes. I was just enjoying some company. I didn’t really want it to end. And I enjoyed looking at him. He was a work of art. But despite his godlike body, his eyes were my favourite part of him. They were blue, like water in children’s drawings. The pale colour suited him. 

“I should be going. The rest should be back soon and they’ll be bringing your supper tonight.” Mike said quietly, getting up and lighting the candles all around the room so it would not be in darkness.

I frowned internally.

”Alright, sir. Thank you for the visit.” I said, holding my hand out for him to shake. He looked down and smiled at my hand and took it lightly in his own by the fingertips and brought it up to his lips, placing a kiss onto my knuckles. 

“My pleasure, soldier.” He replied, the smile still etched onto his face. He let go of my hand and exited, the door cracked open slightly for the others to come through in just a few minutes. 

I hoped they’d take longer 

So they wouldn’t see me blushing. 


End file.
